Dry land in Sydney town

Sydney is always fun. We managed to stay right on Darling Harbour and spoil ourselves silly. This included going to the zoo and buying onesies. Spoilt I tells ya! There was also a bike ride across the harbour hours of shopping, putting all the things in our mouth (tepenyaki, lindt cafe) and relaxing.

Finally we returned home, much to the joy of the kitties.

Days at sea (killing me slowly)

Turns out that we don't actually want holidays that force us to lay around and do nothing. In total we had around four days at sea. Which was about two and a half days too long for me - especially considering there is no internet connection. We had read all our books, gone to all the quizzes, eaten all the foods, drinks all the cocktails. Ugh. So no more cruises until we are either in Europe or retired.

He won all the quizzes. To be fair they were Star Wars and James Bond. I actually got asked if I knew he was an idiot  savant before I married him. 

Parlez Vous Français? Noumea style.

In a moment of stupidity excitement, we booked a canoeing tour of the Noumea river. We went on a lovely drive through the hills and forests of New Caledonia and ended up at a cute little brook in the middle of nowhere. For those that know us, you will appreciate that we are not the sportiest of people, and certainly not the team sports kind. But we persevered. There was a lot of yelling, running into banks and threats of divorce but when we got to the lunch spot it was all worth it. A crystal clear brook in the middle of some beautiful forrested hills. It made a nice break from the beach scapes that we were being accustomed to.

By the time we were returned to the town centre of Noumea we were actually pretty exhausted. So much for the lay around do nothing holiday.

Noumea itself was odd. There was a lot of really kitsch stuff to do which we tried to steer clear of. But the whole city seemed to be closed down. It was a Sunday and all the shops in town were shuttered closed. We found a French cafe on the foreshore. I had a 5 cheese crepe. Holy shit it was good. All the French cheeses! Becoming a bit annoyed at the lack of things to do, we hopped on a cheap 'tour bus'. If only we had done this first!! It took us past a wonderful shopping/restaurant strip, beautiful beaches, islands, fun parks etc. Unfortunately we had no time to get off and look around so we had to witness it all from the bus. At least we know for next time.

More from Mare

Next stop was Mare, another little slice of paradise. This one had even less civilisation to offer, but the snorkelling was ah-mazing. While Ashley laid back on the beach I snorkelled my little heart out. There is a reef that seems to drop off to deep ocean. Because the breakwater was so far out the snorkelling was smooth and crystal clear. Some asshole kids saw massive turtles, I just saw pretty fishes and lovely coral. There was clearly a lot of damage here, not surprising given the number of asshole tourists traipsing over the top of it.

Lifou Lifwow!!

Next port that we stopped in was Lifou. There was very little to do here other than have a walk around and take in the stunning views. Of course we used the ante by getting some bikes and having a ride around the island. We went out on a fairly abandoned road and encountered some locals with machetes. You better believe we cycled the hell back to the boat toot quick.

I've still never seen water so blue. I guess it is as untouched as you can get with thousands of cruise ship muntas rambling through every other day. 

We did some swimming and snorkelling here but the snorkelling area was particularly rough. I ended up with some impressive coral gashes.

Finding Nemo in Port Vila

Our first port was Port Vila. For some reason I had it in my head that Port Vila was a bustling metropolis. I clearly knew nothing about the South Pacific.

Coming into the port was spectacular. It looked just like the island paradise we had heard of. But once you got out on to the streets it became smelly, humid and poverty stricken.

We booked a tour to go snorkelling on the 'Finding Nemo' tour. And my word did we find nemo. It was the first time I had ever snorkelled and to me the coral was amazing, the fish were plentiful and it was an incredible experience. Knowing now that it was pretty much a pile of sun bleached poop does not detract from the feelings I felt then.

We went for a trek around the township after that, to the markets and some shopping. We then went to a resort because what e needed more of was cocktails by the pool. And look at that view!!

After a big day is was back to boat. As we powered out to sea, leaving Port Vila behind us a bunch of jet skiers jumped the waves in our wake.